His Only Fear
by starry night blue
Summary: [COMPLETE]Kenshin constantly lives under the fear of losing Kaoru, so what happens when, by some reason, he's forced to face this fear?
1. Betrayal

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…**

…**but one can still hope to…**

**This is my first Kenshin/Kaoru romance. I'm not an expert in that department, but once I got the idea of this one, I had to write it…I only hope it's good enough…**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 1: Betrayal**

_Kaoru stood a few feet away from him, looking as beautiful as ever in that black silk gown she was wearing._

_Kenshin tried to reach for her, touch her lovely face…but with every step he seemed to take closer, she seemed to move further away._

_He swallowed hard._ '_Kaoru…_'_ he said desperately._

_A pearly tear trickled down Kaoru's cheek, and she shook her head._

'_Huh?_'_ he said._

'_Go away, Kenshin_'_ she whispered._

'_Why, Kaoru? Why?_'_ he choked out._

'_I…I don't love you anymore_'_ she murmured, looking away from his face._

'_No…NOOO!!!_'

Kenshin's eyes flew open.

He sat up in bed, looking around frantically.

He glanced to his side, and found Kaoru deep in sleep beside him.

He breathed a sigh of relief, and wiped the sweat away from his forehead.

_It was a nightmare…just a dumb nightmare…_

He plopped his head back onto the pillow, turning his head so he faced Kaoru; his wife, his most beloved person to ever exist.

He caressed her cheek with his hand for a moment, and then drew his hand away, not wanting to disturb her.

He stared up at the ceiling, replaying what he had seen in his dream…it was a nightmare, but it had still projected the fear which lived within him day and night.

The fear of losing Kaoru.

He couldn't let it happen, he couldn't possibly lose Kaoru. She was the sole purpose of his life, and without her, his life would be absolutely empty. No pretty face to look upon, no sweet voice to listen to, nothing…

_Kaoru…oh, Kaoru…_

He suddenly realized he was probably a nonentity without her…because if she hadn't been there…what would he be? _Where _would he be?

**Some hours later…**

Kaoru was surprised when Kenshin held her tightly for an extra moment before going to work.

'Kenshin?' she murmured.

He let go of her, smiled and kissed her forehead. Then he turned and walked out through the door.

Kaoru closed the door behind him, feeling slightly puzzled by Kenshin's somewhat strange behavior.

Was there something she should know about? Was there something wrong going on with Kenshin?

Shrugging those thoughts out of her head, she trudged over to the kitchen in her fluffy slippers. She made herself a mug of coffee, and crossed the apartment to the living room.

She made herself comfortable on one of the couches, grabbed a magazine from the coffee table and started flipping through it while she sipped at her mug.

She drained the mug and threw her magazine to the table.

She looked around the room for something to do but there was simply nothing to do. Mornings were a constant boredom to her.

Suddenly her face lit up as a sudden idea crossed her mind.

Maybe she should call on Megumi. Sanosuke would have probably left for his work too, so she could go spend some time at her place.

She went over to the phone, and noticed that the answering machine was blinking.

She frowned; when did they receive a phone call?

She pressed the message button, and sat down to hear them, still holding the coffee mug.

'You've got one new message' said the computerized female voice. 'Received on the 23rd of November, four a.m., from 647288…'

Kaoru's brow furrowed. She didn't recognize the number at all. But she listened to the message, anyway.

'_Hello_, _sweetheart_…' Kaoru swallowed hard. '_We had fun tonight, didn't we? I really enjoyed my time…did anybody ever tell you you're a superb kisser… (giggles)…I can still feel your lips on mine…I'm so lucky to have found a guy like you_' Kaoru's mug slipped from her hands, crashing at her feet, sending shards of glass up her ankles, but she didn't seem to notice. All her attention was focused on what she was hearing. '_When can I see you again? I'm dying to be in your arms once more…love you…bye_'

There was a beep, and the message ended.

Kaoru was too shocked to move.

Her Kenshin…her own Kenshin…had cheated on her? Had gone out and hooked up with another girl while she was asleep? Could it really be?

'No…no…' she choked.

Tears streamed down her face, and she started sobbing, stooping over her knees.

The sharp pieces of the mug cut through her feet, but she ignored them.

'Why have you done this, Kenshin?' she choked through her tears. 'Why did you this to me?!'

**Later…**

'I want a dozen red roses, please' Kenshin told the florist.

The lady nodded. 'Do you want them in a bouquet or a box?' she asked.

'What do you suggest?' Kenshin asked.

'I prefer the bouquet' she told him.

'Alright then, the bouquet it is' he agreed.

He waited patiently while she wrapped up the roses for him. He paid her and took the bouquet.

Inhaling the sweet scent, he made his way out of the place. He crossed the road to the building in which he resided.

He took the lift to the third floor, his heart hammering with the thought of seeing Kaoru.

He rang the bell, but Kaoru didn't answer it.

Frowning, he took out his keys and unlocked the door.

He stepped inside and shut the door after him. 'Kaoru?' he called out into the apartment.

No reply.

Worried, Kenshin walked deeper into the apartment. He heard a noise coming from the bedroom, and with a lighter heart, he hurried to it, the bouquet held before him.

'Kaoru…' he started, and stopped dead.

Kaoru was there alright…but she was leaning over her suitcase…packing.

'Kaoru, what are you doing?' he demanded.

'Packing, what else?' she snapped, without looking at him.

'But where are you going?' he asked.

'None of your business' she hissed.

'Kaoru, look at me!!' he said angrily.

She turned around and faced him. He noticed that her eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot.

'What do you want from me, Kenshin?!' she rasped. Then she noticed the bouquet in his hands. 'Oh, you brought me some roses, isn't that sweet?' she said disgustedly.

Kenshin stared in shock as she snatched the bouquet out of his hand, threw it to the floor and started stamping on it.

'Kaoru, what's wrong with you?!' he cried, grabbing hold of her.

'LET GO OF ME!!' she shrieked. 'Don't you even touch me!! You sordid, low creature!'

And in a flash of a moment, she had slapped him.

Kenshin staggered back against the wall, hand over his cheek as he stared at Kaoru.

Kaoru's eyes flashed, and the hollow of her collar bone heaved rapidly up and down.

She slammed down the lid of her suitcase, heaved it off the bed, and strode out of the room.

'Kaoru…' Kenshin whispered.

'Don't you Kaoru me!' she spat. 'What had been between us is over' She paused a bit, and her eyes shimmered with tears. 'Come to think of it, I'm not even sure if there ever was anything between us'

And with that, she left the room. Seconds later, Kenshin heard the door slam shut.

Wait! Was he stupid? He had to follow her! He had to bring her back!

He rushed out of the house, down the stairs-because Kaoru must've taken the lift-and out onto the street.

He looked around frantically for a sign of her, and spotted her climbing into a taxi car at the corner.

'Kaoru!' he cried, rushing towards her.

Kaoru saw him, climbed quickly into the car and slammed the door shut.

Then the car started moving.

'NO!!' he shouted.

But just as he was close enough his fingers were scraping the hood of the trunk, the car sped away…and took Kaoru away with it.

Kenshin slowly ceased to a stop. He stood on the pavement while people passed by him, staring at the spot were the car had been standing.

_This was a nightmare…only it had come true this time…_

Kaoru was really gone.

'KAORU!!!'

**A/N: So, like it so far? Don't u start shooting daggers at me! At least wait till this story is over! Until then…u can pass ur time writing a review, and if u find a more subtle hint, I'll eat my fingers!**

**_-ZEN_**


	2. Loss

**D/C: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…SOB!**

**12 reviews…wow! I really didn't expect that, but I'm not complaining! I'm really happy my fic got so much attention, and I guess (this is gonna sound stupid) u love me, u really, really love me!- I always wanted to say that! !**

**Anyway, this is my second chappie…hope u like it.**

**Enjoy, folks.**

**Chapter 2: Loss**

'We're here, miss'

The cab driver's voice brought Kaoru crashing down to reality.

'Oh, yes, thanks' she murmured.

She handed him a couple of bills, and climbed out of the car, pulling her suitcase behind her.

She stood before the building in which Sanosuke and Megumi stayed, took a deep breath and stepped in through the gate.

She took the elevator to the third floor, made her way to flat no. 23, and rang the bell.

Then she quickly wiped her eyes from any left-over tears.

It was only seconds before the door was opened, and Sanosuke stood in the doorway. He grinned at the sight of her.

'Kaoru!' he exclaimed, pulling her into a hug.

Tears sprang to Kaoru's eyes at this warm gesture, but she fought them back. 'Hello, Sanosuke' she said, putting on a horrible hearty voice which didn't belong to her.

He let go of her. 'Long time no see' he remarked.

'Yeah…well, I've been busy' she replied.

'Yeah, and how can't you be busy when you're _living _with Kenshin?' he said, winking at her.

Kaoru tried to ignore the way her heart ached at the mention of Kenshin's name. 'Is Megumi here?' she asked.

'Yeah…come on in' he said.

Kaoru nodded and dragged in her suitcase. Sano frowned, but said nothing.

He led her into the living room. Kaoru saw Megumi…along with Misao and Aoshi.

'You didn't tell me you have guests' Kaoru hissed.

'What? Oh, Misao and Aoshi don't count as guests…they just barge in' Sano replied.

'I heard that!' Misao snapped, then smiled at Kaoru. 'Hey, girlfriend!'

'Hi' Kaoru said, trying to sound cheerful.

'Hello, Kaoru' Megumi said, while Aoshi nodded at her.

'Hi' Kaoru said, yet again.

'Hey, why didn't Kenshin come along with you?' Sano suddenly asked.

'Um…he's busy, he couldn't come' Kaoru lied.

She took an empty couch, clasped her hands in her lap and forced a smile onto her face as she looked at them.

'So, how's it going?' she asked them in general.

'Aoshi's going on a business trip to Italy tonight' Misao informed her. 'I'm staying here at Megumi's since he's going to be there for at least a week'

'Yeah, she's frightened of staying alone at home' Sano cracked.

'Am not!' Misao fumed.

'I'm not worried, anyway' Sano continued. 'I'm locking her in the guest room, because I don't need a headache right now'

'Hey!' Misao said indignantly, and they all laughed.

A sudden idea jumped into Kaoru's mind. 'What a coincidence!' she exclaimed. 'Kenshin's going away to Spain for a few days too!'

'No!' Sano cried, looking suddenly horrified. 'You're not planning on staying here too, are you? Heck, I thought Misao and Megumi were the worst that could happen…but you?!'

Kaoru didn't know whether to smile or appear hurt. She normally knew how to fathom Sano, but in her current state…

Megumi swatted her husband's arm and smiled at Kaoru. 'He's only kidding, Kaoru' she told her. 'You're welcome to stay if you want'

Sano nodded. 'The more the merrier, it's just a good thing we have a large place' he added. 'Um, Kaoru…you weren't offended by what I said, were you?'

'No! Absolutely not!' she lied. 'I've known you long enough to know that you're never serious about anything'

'Maybe you should start running a hotel, Sano…those girls would help you run the business just fine' Aoshi remarked.

'Hey, you're right' Sano admitted.

'Oh, speaking of which…Kaoru, what's Kenshin going to do in Spain?' Aoshi asked.

'Yeah, how come he never told me about this trip? And I'm his best friend!' Sano protested. 'Betcha he didn't want me asking for presents! That traitor! He knows I love Spain!'

Kaoru winced; _why did they have to keep reminding me of Kenshin? I want to forget him…_

**Meanwhile…**

The world had turned black before Kenshin's eyes.

He roamed the streets, constantly bumping into a passer-by.

_Kaoru…my beloved Kaoru…_

But what did he do to deserve this? What mistake has he done? What could've upset Kaoru so much? He wanted to know, his ignorance was killing him.

His life was absolutely blank without her, he needed her desperately.

What stopped him from throwing himself into the road in front of a speeding car?

_Nothing. I could kill myself right now._

But that would be a downright lie. There was something which prevented him from committing suicide.

Hope.

Hope that Kaoru will someday return.

He will cling to that hope no matter what.

Before he knew it, Kenshin found himself in front of a local pub.

With a muffled sigh, he stepped inside into the pub.

He walked up to the bar, and settled himself down on one of the stools.

A man stepped up behind the bar. He smiled at Kenshin.

'Hello, the name's Kamatari…how may…?' the man asked.

'Sake' Kenshin interrupted him, without looking up at the bartender.

Because if he did look up, he'd confuse what he'd see with a beautiful female, wearing a skin tight velvety black shirt, and tight white pants, who was batting her eyelashes at him.

'Ooooh, you must be in trouble, then' Kamatari said.

'What makes you say that?!' Kenshin snapped, jerking his head up. 'I…oh'

'What?' Kamatari said. 'Oh, do you find me attractive? There's no need to be shy, hon, others have thought the same'

Kenshin didn't know whether he was staring at a guy or a gal, and was totally self-conscious about his mouth which was hanging wide open, but couldn't shut it.

A customer came to the bar. 'Hey, Kamatari, what's up, man?' he said. 'I haven't see you in a while'

'Oh, Ishizumi! It's so good to see you!' Kamatari gushed, and dropped his tone of voice. 'Well, you know, I've been hooked' he whispered, and shot a glance at Kenshin. 'But not completely…'

He handed the man a tankard of beer and turned back to Kenshin with his Sake. 'There's no need to look so depressed, hon' he said, laying a hand on Kenshin's shoulder. Kenshin stared down at the hand as if it were a gnat resting on his pastrami sandwich. 'You can't imagine the horrors it does to your complexion' He smiled brightly. 'C'mon, talk to me, maybe I could offer you some advice'

Spilling out his love life to a gay guy at the bar was the last thing Kenshin would think of doing. But not before long, he was gulping down his Sake and pouring out his heart to Kamatari, who seemed to find his seat next to Kenshin a lot more comfortable than the one behind the bar.

'And then, and then she started crushing the roses with her feet…they cost me 19$, and she ruined them!' he said drowsily.

Kamatari patted Kenshin's back soothingly. 'There, there, hon…what did you say your name was again?' he said.

'And then…she slapped me! Can you believe it?! My wife actually slapped me!' Kenshin gasped, and took another swig of his Sake.

'Oh, dear! Did it hurt? Where did she slap you?' Kamatari asked anxiously.

'And then, she took her bag and said, "Kenshin, I don't love you anymore"' Kenshin continued. 'Well, she didn't exactly say that, but…'

'So your name is Kenshin, huh?' Kamatari said. 'That's such a cute name! Can I call you Ken-nii?'

'I want her back' Kenshin pleaded, as if it were in Kamatari's hands to bring her back.

'Aw, don't be like that, Ken-nii' Kamatari said, pouting. 'You can always hook up with some on else'

And, as if to prove his point, he put an arm around Kenshin and batted his eyelashes furiously at him.

Kenshin stared drunkenly at him. 'What are you doing?' he demanded.

'Ow! I knew I shouldn't have given him that much of Sake!' Kamatari muttered. Then he smiled again. 'Say, how about a hug? It could do you wonders you know'

Kenshin sat up straight, and shook his head. 'No, I'm in no mood for hugs now' he muttered, and reached inside his pocket for his wallet. 'How much for the Sake?'

'Oh, don't worry about that' Kamatari assured him. 'This one's on me'

'Thanks' Kenshin mumbled as he slid off his stool.

He staggered to the pub's door, swaying slightly as he walked.

'Hey, Ken-nii! What's your number?!' Kamatari called after him.

But Kenshin ignored him, got to the door and left the place without a second look back.

'Drats!' Kamatari muttered. 'Completely hopeless!'

**Meanwhile…**

'Aoshi…?'

Kaoru's eyes fluttered open. She turned her head sideways and saw Misao talking on the phone.

'You still in the airport?...Hey, I have an idea, why don't you ditch Italy and come take me out somewhere?...Oh, you're such a sweetie! But no, you go to Italy and finish that business of yours…' Misao said.

Kaoru stared up at the ceiling and fought back her tears.

_Why did everybody seem to have such a perfect happy life except me? Megumi and Sanosuke…Misao and Aoshi…_

_Why can't I be happy like them? Why did they all have each other while I have no one?_

She remembered how Sano kept giving Megumi light pecks on her cheeks whenever he passed her or sat next to her…and how Aoshi kept his arms around Misao all the time…

Was she bitter? Nah.

But jealous? Maybe…

She tried hard to block Misao's conversation with Aoshi but she couldn't.

'Huh? What are you holding?...Oh, you're holding the keychain I gave you? You're such a dear!' she gushed. 'Uh-huh, uh-huh…oh, Aoshi, I'm really gonna miss you…I know it's only a week, but still…What? Of course I'm not crying! I'm not a crybaby!'

But Kaoru knew that was a downright lie, because she could the see the sparkling tears staining Misao's face.

'…You get me some decent presents, understand? Make sure they include jewelry…hey, you know what, forget it, I just want you…I love you too…Good bye, oh, and don't forget to call me from Italy…good…bye, then' Misao said, and put down the mouthpiece.

Without realizing it, Kaoru had begun crying.

And not some normal crying; she was sobbing real hard she was shaking.

'Kaoru?' Misao said, sounding alarmed.

Kaoru buried her face in her pillow, soaking it with her tears. She felt Misao's hands on her shoulders.

'Kaoru? What's wrong?' Misao demanded. 'You miss Kenshin too?'

Kaoru sobbed harder.

'Jeez, how bad is this, Kaoru?' Misao asked softly.

'Terrible' Kaoru choked out.

'Damn, I better get Megumi' Misao said frantically.

'Don't bother, I'm already here…Sano sent me to shut you two up' Megumi said from the guestroom's doorway. She paused. 'Kaoru, are you crying? God, I knew something was wrong from the moment you came…what is it, Kaoru?' she asked softly, as she made her way to her bed.

Kaoru shook her head, which was still buried in the pillow.

'Kaoru, you have to tell us…you can't keep it all bottled up' Megumi told her, sitting beside her on the bed. 'Trust me, you'll feel a lot better once you've spilled out everything'

'Is it Kenshin?' Misao asked casually.

'Uh huh' Kaoru blubbered.

'He hasn't really gone to Spain, has he?' Megumi asked.

'No' Kaoru choked.

'What has he done, Kaoru?' Megumi asked quietly.

Kaoru burst into fresh tears, and she dug her face in Megumi's lap, sobbing harder than ever.

'He…he cheated on me! Today I found this…this message on the answering machine…it was a girl, saying how much she had enjoyed her time with Kenshin the other night' Kaoru sobbed. 'He had gone out and met a girl behind my back…Kenshin, of all people, I thought I could trust him! But…but he betrayed my trust!'

Megumi exchanged looks with Misao. She smoothed Kaoru's hair in a soothing gesture. 'It's okay, Kaoru…' she said.

'NO! It's not okay!' Kaoru cried, pulling herself away from Megumi. 'It's never _going _to be okay! Don't you understand? Kenshin let me down, he betrayed me!'

'Oh, Kaoru' Megumi sighed, and pulled Kaoru into a hug. Kaoru sobbed into her shoulder.

Misao put her arm around Kaoru. 'It's not your fault, Kaoru' she said sternly. 'It's Kenshin who's got something wrong with his brain'

'Yes, you deserve better than him, he's not worth your tears' Megumi added.

'Kenshin doesn't know what he's losing' Misao said.

'Please, Kaoru…stop crying' Megumi pleaded.

'OY!! Cool it down, will ya?! Some people are trying to sleep!' Sano shouted room the other room.

Megumi shook her head. 'Some people are just too insensitive' she muttered, but vowed to shower Sano with thanks when she heard Kaoru utter a small giggle.

They were gaining progress.

**A/N: (bouncing up and down) So, what did u think? Is it nice? Huh? Is it? I'm annoying, aren't I? Anyway, if u did like it, plz review…oh, and wait for my second chapter!**

_**-ZEN.**_


	3. Phonecalls

**D/C: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…sniff sniff**

**Alright, I'm really happy with my reviews, they really encouraged me…maybe I do have a romantic touch in me. . Anyway, thanx to all of you for the splendid reviews…and black slashed dragon; no, I'm not a super human, I'm just an ordinary human just like you; two legs, two arms, two eyes-I don't wear glasses (He he, I read your bio). **

**Anyway, here's the third chapter.**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 3: Phonecalls**

Megumi flung her arms around Sanosuke's neck and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Sano frowned. 'Okay, what do you want? Money? Clothes? A new car? Don't tell me you drove yours into another lake' he said.

Megumi laughed and sat down beside him. 'No, silly!' she said. 'Can't a woman appreciate her husband?'

'Not if she's Megumi, she can't' he replied.

'Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!' she protested.

'It means…' he said, then paused to consider. 'Where's my breakfast? I'm hungry'

'Oh, don't worry about that…Kaoru and Misao are preparing breakfast right now' she told him. 'A token of their gratitude for letting them stay here'

'Uh-huh…well, it's never too late to write my will' he muttered.

'C'mon, cut them some slack…they're not such bad cooks!' she said, and then they heard a crash from the kitchen. 'But I'd better check on them just the same'

She hurried over to the kitchen, and found Kaoru standing in the middle, staring at the shattered remains of a china dish, while Misao stood behind her, her fist in her mouth to block her laughter.

'Oh, Megumi!' Kaoru cried. 'I'm so sorry! And this was your favorite dish!!'

'Don't tell me…the one with the rose pattern, right?' Megumi said, trying to remain calm.

Kaoru nodded. 'It was Misao's fault, though! She poked me from behind!' she snarled, glaring at Misao.

'I did not!!' Misao huffed.

'Yes, you did!' Kaoru snapped.

'Well, it's not my fault your hands are so slippery!' Misao replied.

Megumi sighed. 'Can you two finish this discussion later?' she pleaded. 'I can practically hear Sano's stomach roaring!'

It was a few minutes before they had all settled to the table.

Sano didn't touch the food. He seemed to be muttering his prayers.

'Oh, come on, Sanosuke! You're exaggerating! My cooking's loads better now! Ask Ke…' Kaoru said, and her voice trailed off.

'Kenshin?' he continued for her.

Kaoru stared down at her plate, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

Why did the mention of Kenshin's name hurt her so much?

_Because you still love him, stupid…_her rational mind answered.

Sano was still frowning at her. Megumi noticed that and tried to distract him.

'Hey, Sano…how about you try some of these muffins?' Megumi suggested. 'And don't worry, I've prepared these ones'

It worked. Sano accepted the muffin from Megumi, and started to dig in.

Kaoru didn't touch the food. She had suddenly lost her appetite.

She pushed her plate away from her, and got up from the table.

'Where are you going? You haven't eaten anything yet' Sano said through a mouthful of muffins.

'I'm just not hungry' she murmured. 'What are you complaining for, anyway? All the more food for you, anyway' she cracked.

'Yeah, as if you eat that much, anyway' he sneered.

'You've never seen me when I'm hungry' she replied, shaking a warning finger in his face.

Then she walked back to her room. She went inside and shut the door after her.

She threw herself on the bed, and felt the warm tears rolling down either side of herself.

Will she ever be okay? Will she ever be normal?

**Meanwhile…**

Kenshin pressed down the alarm button to shut up the shrill ringing which was particularly drilling a hole in his head.

He didn't know why he had set the alarm in the first place, anyway, because he hadn't slept for a single moment last night.

And it wasn't due to the splitting headache the Sake had given him, it was because he hadn't stopped thinking about Kaoru the whole night.

He had to reach Kaoru somehow, he had to talk to her, understand what this was about…because he had no idea why this was happening to him.

He didn't feel like going to work today, maybe he should call in sick or something, because he _was _feeling ill, really ill.

As he reached out for the mouthpiece, and idea struck him.

Why, of course! He could call Kaoru! He could dial up her cell phone number and talk to her, hear her sweet voice again.

He picked up the mouthpiece, dialed her number and sat listening to the rhythmic tone of the telephone.

_Come on, Kaoru…pick up…please pick up…_

She picked up. 'Hello? Kaoru Kamiya speaking' came her voice on the other end.

Kenshin's heart beat furiously in his chest.

'Kaoru…' he croaked.

Then he heard Kaoru utter a gasp, and then the line was dead.

Kenshin stared in shock at the mouthpiece. He couldn't believe Kaoru had hung up in his face.

But then, Kaoru had also slapped him and ran out of the house.

Something was seriously wrong.

**Meanwhile, at Megumi's…**

Kaoru's hand shook as she gripped her cell phone.

Hearing Kenshin's voice has completely shaken her…what would happen if she actually saw him? Would she break down completely?

Yes, it was true she had appeared so tough yesterday when she had ran out on him, but the truth was that she had been a total wreck on the inside.

It's not easy to wake up and find that your husband's betrayed you.

It also wasn't easy for her to hang up in Kenshin's face, but it came out automatically; a natural reflex action.

She placed the phone back on the nightstand and curled up on the bed.

The door opened, and Megumi poked her head inside.

'Kaoru?' she said.

Kaoru considered not responding, but she sighed and spoke anyway. 'Yes?' she murmured.

'Are you okay?' she asked.

'Yeah, fine' she said shortly.

'I wanted to apologize for having such an inconsiderate husband' Megumi said, sounding bemused.

Kaoru managed a small smile. 'It's okay, he didn't know' she replied.

'Good thing too' Megumi said seriously. 'Do you realize what Sano might do if he knows about this?'

'No, what?' Kaoru asked curiously.

'He'll be pissed off…and trust me, you don't want to have to face Sano while he's pissed off' Megumi told her. 'Although you wouldn't mind if he spilled his rage over Kenshin, would you?'

Kaoru paused. Did she want Kenshin to get hurt? Did she really want that?

'Would you?' Megumi repeated, looking slightly puzzled.

Kaoru hesitated. 'I don't know…' she murmured.

Megumi sighed. 'Well, you'd better know, because Sano'll meet Kenshin at work, anyway' she said.

Kaoru jerked up. 'Oh, no! I totally forgot about that!' she cried. 'Where's Sano?!'

Megumi shook her head. 'He's left a couple of minutes ago' she said.

'Can't you call him up on his cell phone or something?' she asked, frantically.

'You know how Sano is, Kaoru…technology and him aren't a match made in heaven' Megumi said apologetically.

Kaoru's shoulders sagged. 'He doesn't have a cell phone?' she asked.

'No, I'm afraid not' Megumi murmured.

**Later…**

Sano took the lift up to this office. He was pinned back against the wall of the elevator by the crowds of people.

Grimacing slightly, he pushed the man in front of him to make some room for himself.

Two men stepped out on the fourth floor. Three others left the elevator on the seventh floor.

Sano sighed impatiently. Why did his office have to be on the twentieth floor?!

By the time they reached the fifteenth floor, he was the only person left on the lift. He pressed the button for shutting the door.

'No, wait, Sano! Hold it open for me!'

Automatically, Sano pressed the button which holds the doors open.

He stared when Kenshin stepped onto the lift.

'Hi' Kenshin said, panting slightly. 'Seventeenth floor, please'

Sano frowned. 'Back so soon?' he asked, pressing the button.

'Huh?' Kenshin said, confused.

'I thought you were in Spain' Sano replied.

'Spain? The last place I was was home, and I was debating whether or not I should go to work' Kenshin said. 'Who told you I had gone to Spain?'

'Kaoru told me' Sano said.

Kenshin grabbed Sano by the front of his clothes. 'Where have you seen Kaoru?!' he demanded. 'Do you know where she is?!'

'Whoa! Easy!' Sano said, pushing Kenshin away from him.

Kenshin's face became a deep shade of red. 'Sorry' he muttered. Then he looked at Sano. 'Do you know, then? Where Kaoru is, I mean'

'Yeah, she's staying with us' Sano said, frowning again. 'Didn't you know?'

Kenshin sighed. 'She hadn't told you, then?' he asked.

'Told us what? What are you talking about, Kenshin?' Sano demanded.

Kenshin smiled and shook his head. 'Nothing, don't worry yourself with it' he told him.

They got to the seventeenth floor. The doors opened and Kenshin stepped out of the elevator.

'Thank you, Sano!' he called over his shoulder.

Sano frowned. Why did he feel that he'd somehow been cheated?

**Meanwhile…**

'What do I do?! This is the third message this morning! I can't live like this!' Kaoru cried.

Misao sighed. 'You have to face Kenshin sooner or later, Kaoru, and you know it' she said. 'I just don't understand why you didn't confront him immediately'

'Because I was scared, Megumi, that's why' Kaoru told her.

'Scared?' Megumi repeated.

'Scared of turning into a blubbering wreck in front of Kenshin' Kaoru murmured. 'I knew that if I did, I'd start crying and uttering nonsense…and besides, confronting him would make it all seem so real, and I'm still hoping this would turn out to be a bad nightmare…although I know it isn't'

Megumi went silent.

'What's in those messages, anyway?' Misao asked after a moment.

'Well…' Kaoru said, clicking the Inbox in her phone open. 'This is the first one…_Kaoru, I love you…I want you back, please…_and…_Kaoru, I need to see you, I really can't live without you…_and…_You know, Kaoru…I think we'll be seeing each other sooner than you think_'

'Sooner than you think?' Misao repeated. 'What does _that _mean?'

'I dunno' Kaoru murmured. 'Do you suppose Sano told Kenshin I'm here?'

Megumi cocked her head to one side. 'Maybe' she said.

'Oh, this isn't good, isn't good at all' Kaoru mumbled.

'Even if Kenshin comes, we don't necessarily have to let him in' Misao pointed out.

'Yeah' Kaoru snorted. 'As if he'd take a no for an answer'

'You'll just have to talk to him, Kaoru' Megumi said.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Kaoru jumped.

'Stop being so edgy, Kaoru…it's only the phone' Megumi snapped, as she got up to answer it.

She picked up the receiver. 'Hello? Megumi Sagara speaking' she said.

'Hey, Meg' came Sano's voice on the other end.

'Oh, hi, Sano!' she exclaimed, and Kaoru seemed to relax a bit. 'What? Have you forgotten something?'

'No' he muttered. 'I just…I met Kenshin today at work, and he said he had never gone to Spain'

'Oh' Megumi said, toying with the cord of the phone.

'Megumi, am I having hallucinations? I thought Kaoru said Kenshin had gone to Spain!' Sano said, sounding rather shrill.

Megumi laughed. 'No, Sano, don't worry…you're not having hallucinations' she assured him.

'So what's going on?!' he demanded. 'I told Kenshin that Kaoru's staying with us, and his face lit up…as if he didn't know that already'

Megumi sighed. 'Just a sec, Sano' she said, and covered the mouthpiece with her hand.

'What does Sano want?' Kaoru asked.

'You were right, Sano told Kenshin' Megumi told her.

Kaoru groaned.

She was going to have to face Kenshin, after all…

**A/N: So…? Was it nice? Did u like it? I hope u did coz I'm hoping for more reviews (my hints r just too subtle, huh?) But it's not tough; really, all you have to do is press that little button!**

**-_ZEN_**


	4. Hatred

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…not even one single character…**

**First of all, thanx for the reviews, I was really thrilled when I saw the no. 43 there! ! I was totally glad u all liked the third chapter, and hope u equally like this chapter.**

**Enjoy. (Hmmm…I have to work on my Vocabulary, I keep using this word! What other word is there for enjoy?)**

**Chapter 4: Hatred**

'Kenshin did that?!'

Sano's fists clenched as he sat listening to Kaoru.

Kaoru nodded.

'That jerk!' Sano hissed

Megumi touched his arm. 'What are you going to do?' she asked.

'What am I going to do?' he repeated. 'I'll clobber Kenshin if I have to'

'No!' Kaoru cried, and they all stared at her. 'I mean, I don't want you to get into trouble because of me…let me handle this on my own'

'Alright' he muttered. 'God, I told him you were here…I'm sorry Kaoru…if you had only told me…'

'If we had told you, you would've already thrown Kenshin out of your office window' Misao cracked.

Kaoru smiled. 'It's okay, Sano…don't worry about it' she assured him. 'Did he tell you when he'll be arriving?'

Sano shook his head.

'Listen, Kaoru…don't get too worked up about seeing Kenshin' Megumi told her. 'Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you help me fix lunch? It'll help you keep your mind off things'

'Yeah, okay' Kaoru agreed.

So…

'Um…Megumi? How do we _fold _eggs?' Kaoru asked.

'What?!' Misao cried.

'That's what's written here' Kaoru said.

'You can't fold eggs!' Misao said dubiously.

Megumi laughed. 'Oh, don't be silly' she said. 'It means adding and stirring the eggs gently in the mixture'

'Oh' Kaoru and Misao said in unison.

'Here, let me show you' Megumi offered. She cracked an egg, and poured its contents into the boiling pot on the oven. The she grabbed a spoon and started stirring the mixture. 'See?'

'Let me give it a try' Kaoru said, and Megumi handed her an egg.

'Hey, can I try too?' Misao pleaded.

'Uh…' Megumi hesitated. Misao managed to make a mess out of the smallest things, could she really trust her with _eggs?_

'Please!!' Misao cried.

'Oh, okay…be careful though' Megumi murmured.

Misao took an egg. Then she tried to crack it against the hem of the pot, but it wouldn't crack.

'Easy now, Misao' Megumi said.

'Boy, will I have something to tell Aoshi when he returns! Me, cooking!' Misao exclaimed, trying to crack the egg again. 'Hey! This isn't fair! It opened easily with you!'

'Be careful' Megumi murmured.

Misao hit the egg against the pot again, gently at first, but way too roughly after a few moments.

Too roughly the egg shattered…

Misao and the spotless stove were sprayed with egg-yolk.

Megumi was fuming.

'He he' Misao said, weakly. 'Megumi…I don't think eggs agreed well with me'

'You don't _think_?!' Megumi repeated angrily.

**Meanwhile…**

Kenshin stood in front of the building where Sano and Megumi were staying…where Kaoru was staying.

He took in a deep breath and pushed the gate's door open.

He took the lift to the third floor, and took slow, yet determined steps towards the apartment.

He rang the bell.

He waited for a couple of minutes, but no one opened the door for him.

He rang the bell again, but still no one answered the door.

He frowned. _Could they have gone out?_

He pressed his ear against the door.

_No, they weren't out. _

Kenshin could hear low voices inside the apartment. Why weren't they opening up?

He pressed the buzzer again, and kept his finger in place while counting slowly to sixty.

And by the time he'd counted twenty-two, the door flung open.  
'Why can't you just take the hint and leave?!' Sano shouted, standing in the doorway.

Kenshin stared, dumbfounded, at his best friend. 'Sano…?' he said questioningly.

'Don't play innocent with me, Kenshin…' Sano warned him. 'Kaoru told us what a big creep you are'

'What?!' Kenshin cried. 'But, Sano, I haven't done anything!'

'Hah! Could you possibly come up with a lamer lie?' Sano sneered.

'Sano, please…could I just see Kaoru?' Kenshin pleaded.

'Why? So you could hurt her even more? Isn't it what you've done to her enough to satisfy you?' Sano snapped.

'But _what _have I done, Sano? I want to know' Kenshin said desperately.

Sano stared at him. 'You're disgusting' he spat.

He started to close the door, but Kenshin pushed against it to prevent him from shutting it…from shutting him from Kaoru…

'Sano, I need to talk to Kaoru, please!' he cried.

'Go away, Kenshin…you're not welcome here' Sano hissed.

'Kaoru! Kaoru!' Kenshin shouted through the narrow opening of the door.

'Shut up!' Sano snapped. 'Don't you get it? Kaoru doesn't want to see you'

'But _I _want to see her!' he said in a strained voice.

He pushed with all his might against the door, and managed to slip into the apartment before Sano could shut the door.

'Hey!' Sano said angrily.

Kenshin ran into the apartment, and looked wildly around.

He saw Megumi and Misao standing by the kitchen's door, as if guarding it.

Kaoru was definitely in the kitchen.

'Please, let me in' he said, as he approached them.

'No way' Megumi said coldly.

'Please!' he cried. He looked across their shoulders, and saw Kaoru. She was sitting there on a stool, her head bowed, hands in her lap. 'Kaoru!!'

She didn't look up at him.

Kenshin pushed against Megumi and Misao. Kaoru was only a few feet away from him, and they were blocking his way to her.

Kenshin managed to break into the kitchen.

'We told you to get out!' Misao said furiously. She grabbed his arm and tugged. 'C'mon! Don't you understand English? I said OUT!'

'Misao…stop'

Kenshin stared at Kaoru, so did Megumi, Misao and Sano.

'Let me get him out of here, Kaoru' Sano offered.

'No, leave me alone with him…' she said, and looked at the three of them with shimmering eyes. '…please'

'Alright, but call us if you need anything' Megumi reluctantly agreed, and dragged Sano and Misao out of the kitchen.

'Kaoru…' Kenshin whispered, touching her shoulder.

Kaoru brushed his hand away and hugged herself. 'Why do you want, Kenshin?' she rasped.

The coldness of her voice stunned him. 'I…I…why is this happening to us, Kaoru?' he asked.

'Why?!' she repeated, incredulously. 'Why don't you ask yourself, Kenshin?'

'How am I supposed to ask myself if I don't know what's going on in the first place?' he asked, desperately.

'You don't know?!' she said shrilly. 'You don't know that you've hurt me in the cruelest way in which a husband could hurt his wife?!'

'No, I don't!' he said, exasperated. 'So, please…please tell me what I've done!'

Kaoru jumped up to her feet, and glared at him. 'You just make me sick!' she shot at him.

'No, Kaoru…please don't say that' Kenshin said.

Kaoru approached him. She was now so close he could see the tears forming at her eyes.

'Kaoru?' he said.

'I want you out of here, and out of my life' she hissed.

Kenshin felt as if she had just slapped him. 'No…' he croaked.

'I said out' she said.

'Give me a chance, Kaoru…' he pleaded.

'Out' she said.

'Let me…' he said.

'OUT!!' she screamed. 'I don't want to see you ever again, Kenshin…you understand?! Not ever!'

'But I love you, Kaoru, I really do' he told her.

Kaoru's eyes leaked with tears. She buried her face in her hands, and rushed out of the kitchen, sobbing.

Kenshin made a move to follow her…but Sano blocked his way.

'I think you've said enough' he said sharply.

'No, no…I have to talk to her' Kenshin said, trying to duck beneath Sano's arm.

'You won't see Kaoru anymore' Sano said, grabbing Kenshin around the waist. He dragged him towards the door, and Kenshin thrashed helplessly in his arms.

'Let go of me!' he yelled.

Sano pulled the door open and practically threw Kenshin out of the house.

Kenshin stared up from the floor at the towering figure of Sano.

'You won't come here anymore, call anymore, or see Kaoru anymore, understand?' he rasped.

Kenshin scrambled up to his feet. 'You have no right to set such rules!' he shouted. 'Kaoru's my wife; I can see her any time I want!'

'Oh, yeah? Well, this is my house, and Kaoru's staying in it…and as long as she's here, you can do nothing' Sano said.

And with that, he slammed the door shut in Kenshin's face.

Kenshin stared in shock at the door of the apartment which housed the people he used to believe as his best friends…and his wife.

**Meanwhile…**

'Kaoru, please calm down!'

Kaoru sobbed into Megumi's shoulder. Her body shook hard under Megumi's arms.

'I can't believe he kept saying that…as if he had done nothing!' she choked.

'Of all the nerve' Misao said.

'I know!' Kaoru cried. 'And what more? He said…he said he loves me! As if I'm gonna fall for that crap!'

'Who was he kidding?' Megumi said.

Sano walked into the room, and Megumi looked questioningly at him.

'Don't worry, he's gone' he assured her.

'You can relax now, Kaoru…Sano got him out of here' Megumi told her.

'Really?' Kaoru whispered.

'Yeah, he's gone away for good' Sano said.

Kaoru managed a small smile. 'Thanks, guys…really, thanks for standing with me in this' she croaked.

'Hey, no problem' Misao chirped. 'What are friends for?'

'Yeah…you're right' Kaoru murmured.

'Forget Kenshin, Kaoru…he's not worth the trouble' Sano said.

'Yes, Kaoru…you'll see how much better you're gonna feel once you get Kenshin out of your mind' Megumi said.

Kaoru smiled weakly.

They didn't know how much she wanted to forget Kenshin. The problem was…she simply couldn't.

**A/N: Now, don't start pouting and cursing, I know u all wanted Kaoru and Kenshin to make up, but more…and I mean MORE is yet to come, u just wait and see. Anyway, I hope u liked this one…and u can express ur likeness by just pressing that little button and sending me a review…hehe…**

**oh, and a HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of u!**

_**-ZEN.**_


	5. Needs

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…come to think of it, I don't own anything! SOB!!**

**Ok, you must know that I'm risking a lot by updating the story, coz I have a biology exam tomorrow and I haven't started studying yet! I was even planning not to update, but when I saw all ur nice reviews, I decided to update, anyway. Alright, this is chapter 5, my favorite until now…I really hope u enjoy it.**

**Read on, folks.**

**Chapter 5: Needs**

'Hey, where are you ladies off to?'

Megumi adjusted the straps of her green t-shirt, and linked arms with Kaoru.

'We are going to the mall' she told him, grinning. Sano groaned. 'Don't worry; I'm not getting you bankrupt this time…I'm going to buy one dress'

'Yeah, right' Sano scoffed, turning his attention back to the football game which was playing on the TV.

Kaoru eased her arm away from Megumi. 'I dunno, maybe I shouldn't be going out with you, guys' she said.

'Oh, don't be silly…we'll have loads of fun' Megumi told her. 'It's been a long time since we went out on a shopping trip together'

'Yeah, especially after Kaoru got married off to Kenshin' Misao snorted, and realized she had said the wrong thing once the words left her mouth.

Kaoru looked away from them. 'Really, I don't feel like going out' she murmured. 'Maybe I'll just stay here with Sano'

Megumi glared at Misao. '_Stay here with Sano?!_' she said shrilly. 'Are you kidding me?! You won't rest for a minute! Sano will be treating you like a servant, trust me when I say this'

Kaoru hesitated. 'Oh, alright…I'll go' she agreed.

'Great!' Megumi exclaimed. She pulled the front door open, and they all filed into the hallway. 'Bye, Sano!' she called before shutting the door.

The left the building and started along the sidewalk.

Megumi and Misao chattered animatedly, but Kaoru kept silent most of the time. Even when her friends tried to drag her into conversation, all she said was 'yes' and 'no'.

By the time they had reached the mall, they had finally given up on getting her to talk and started pointing out the different stores to her.

'Just look at that boutique, Kaoru! It has the best of clothes!'

'And that store, it has the best of sportswear'

'Now that shop is terrific, I always shop there…the jeans there is simply fabulous'

Kaoru felt as she was having a headache. She's had enough with this cheering-up-Kaoru attitude. She needed her space.

'Guys! Guys!' she cried, interrupting Misao in mid-sentence. 'Listen, you go shopping without me…I don't feel like trying stuff on at the moment'

Megumi stared at her. 'But, Kaoru!' she protested. 'You should really have a look at these…'

'Maybe some other time, Megumi…but not now, I feel a bit tired' she told her.

'Shall we take you back home?' Misao asked.

'No, I'll just…I'll wait for you in that pub, okay?' she said.

'Well…' Megumi hesitated, and eyed the pub uncomfortably.

'I can take care of myself, Megumi' Kaoru pointed out, raising her eyebrows at her friend.

'Of course you can' she murmured. 'Okay, we'll meet you there in about an hour…don't go anywhere'

Kaoru smiled wearily, waved at her friends, and crossed the mall's floor to the small pub.

She stepped into the pub, and made her way to the bar, where she settled on one of the stools. She swung a little as she waited for the bartender to attend her.

'Hey, love…what do I get you?'

Kaoru stared up at the character standing before her. 'Er…' she said.

'What's the matter?' the bartender asked. 'Is there something on my face?'

'Um…no, er…' she sputtered.

'You can call me Kamatari' the bartender told her.

'You work here? I mean, I always knew bartenders to be men' Kaoru murmured.

'Men? But I am a man, sweetie' Kamatari replied, looking slightly puzzled.

Kaoru fought hard to keep her mouth from hanging open, but she couldn't help but stare at Kamatari.

_Damn! He looks gorgeous! Maybe even prettier than me…oh, the tragedy!!_

'Is everything okay in there?' Kamatari asked her, frowning.

Kaoru managed a weak smile. 'Yes…fine' she said.

'So, what do I get you? Beer? Wine? Scotch?...Sake?' he asked.

'Um…what do you suggest?' she asked.

'Well, I'd go for Sake myself' Kamatari told her. 'Nothing lifts up your spirits better than Sake'

'Well…' she hesitated. She really needed some spirit-lifting.

_But you're allergic to Sake; you'll start acting like an idiot if you have it…_her rational mind intercepted.

'Okay, get me some Sake' she agreed.

_Moron…_

Kamatari quickly slid a small tankard of Sake in front of her.

Kaoru took a small sip and shuddered.

Kamatari folded his arms against the bar. 'You look like someone with something weighing on her mind' he said knowingly.

'How do you know?' she demanded.

'Experience' Kamatari said simply.

Kaoru took another sip from her tankard. She was beginning to feel a little light-headed already.

_This Sake must be too strong…_

'Well, you could say that' she admitted.

'Care for a little chat?' he asked.

Kaoru cocked her head to one side. 'You wouldn't understand' she muttered.

'Try me' he said, challengingly.

Kaoru found herself pouring her heart out to a complete stranger…a complete weird stranger too. She wanted to stop, this was wrong…she was letting a bartender into her personal life…it was not fair, for her…and for Kenshin…

_Kenshin…_

'His name is Kenshin?' Kamatari asked, frowning slightly.

'Uh-huh' Kaoru replied.

'Funny' he murmured.

'What's funny about what I'm telling you?' she snapped, trying to shake the dizziness out of her head.

'Well, a couple of nights ago a guy with the name Kenshin came in here' Kamatari told her.

Kaoru sat up straight, gripping the tankard tightly. 'What did he look like?' she asked.

_Could it have been Kenshin? My own Kenshin? Had gone to a bar the day I left him? Went to enjoy his new freedom? Could it be…?_

'Well, violet eyes, long crimson hair…' Kamatari said dreamily. 'And a beautiful scar across his cheek…oh, he was amazing'

Kaoru sat there, breathing heavily.

It was Kenshin.

'What was his name?' she croaked.

'Ken-ii…sorry, I mean, Kenshin' Kamatari replied, smiling.

Kaoru's worst doubts were confirmed.

'Mind you…' Kamatari continued. 'He looked pretty upset then…said his wife had left him or something'

'He…he was?' she sputtered.

'Yep' he replied, and took a glance at her tankard. 'Should I fill it for you?'

'What?' she said, a bit distractedly. Kamatari nodded at her tankard. 'Um, yes, please'

Kamatari eyed her suspiciously as he poured some more Sake into her tankard. 'Do you know Ken-ii from somewhere?' he asked.

Kaoru fixed him in a steely gaze. 'He is my husband' she told him.

'Oh' Kamatari murmured. 'But…from what you said, I assumed you don't want to have anything to do with him'

'Well…' Kaoru sighed, and took a long drink from her Sake. 'I really don't know'

'Listen to me, sweetheart…a guy like him doesn't deserve you, you have to ditch him right away' Kamatari said quickly, without looking at her.

'You do?' she asked.

'Yeah, I mean, a guy like that will cheat on you over and over again' he told her.

If Kaoru wasn't so drunk, maybe she'd have figured out that Kamatari was only trying to make her ditch Kenshin so he could have a go at him, but, unfortunately, Kaoru was so drunk her head was threatening to drop off her shoulders with heaviness.

Kaoru gasped. 'He will?' she demanded.

'Yeah, trust me, I'm on expert in that department…I've suffered a lot from guys myself' Kamatari told her.

'How am I supposed to trust you? I only met you thirty minutes ago' she pointed out.

'Well, you thought you could trust Kenshin, and you've known him for like what…six years?' Kamatari said in what seemed like a mocking voice.

Kaoru was snagged. She had to admit that Kamatari had a point; she didn't know what to say in reply.

Kaoru fidgeted with her purse. 'I…what's the bill?' she murmured.

'Fourteen dollars' Kamatari told her, a sympathetic look on his face.

Kaoru pulled out the notes, handed them to Kamatari, and then left the bar, feeling very heavy in the head.

Every footstep weighed her down, and she felt like she was about to collapse, and not just because of the Sake.

Kaoru winced.

_Trust…Honesty…Love…_

_Will I ever feel those again?_

**Meanwhile…**

Kenshin stood on a bridge.

He leaned over the railing and stared down at the deep waters beneath.

He could simply end this and leave this world of good.

Didn't everybody say that the after-life was a fantastic place?

Even if it wasn't, he didn't care.

Any place would be better than the hell he was welding in.

_Kaoru…my sweet Kaoru…_

…

'Notice me…take my hand…' he started to sing.

He leaned further over the railing.

'Why are we strangers when our love is strong?' he went on.'…why carry on without me?'

_Kaoru…_

'Every time I try to fly…I fall without my wings…I feel so small' he whispered. 'I guess I need you, baby'

_I love you, Kaoru…_

'And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face…' he croaked. '…it's haunting me'

Tears stung his eyes.

'…I guess I need you, baby' he continued.

Kenshin looked again at the murky water river…his mind was set.

'I make belief…that you are here' he sang softly. 'It's the only way…I see clear…'

Kenshin looked around him. There was nobody in sight…and who would be at 2 o'clock in the morning?

'What have I done…you…you seem to move on easy' he carried on.

Kenshin took a deep breathe. He swung a leg over the railing.

'Every time I try to fly…I fall without my wings…' he said. 'I feel so small…I guess I need you, baby'

Kenshin swung the other leg over.

'And every time I see you in my dreams…I see your face…it's haunting me…' Kenshin murmured. '…I guess I need you baby'

Kenshin stared down at the water beneath him…he could drown himself and no on will know…no one will care…

'I may have made it rain, please forgive me…' he sang. 'My weakness caused your pain…and this song's my sorry…'

_If only you were here to hear it, Kaoru…_

'At night I pray…that soon your face will fade away…' he whispered.

Kenshin started easing himself further to the edge of the stone railing.

'Notice me…' Tears were rolling down his cheeks. '…take my hand…why are we strangers when…our love is so strong…'

Kenshin paused.

And it wasn't hesitation.

He and Kaoru loved each other…everybody envied them for their element of true love…

And what did everybody say about true love? It couldn't be destroyed…

_If only…if only…_

'I love you, Kenshin'

Kenshin started. He whirled around.

'Kaoru?!' he called out.

No…not Kaoru…just a girl and her boyfriend.

But it made something click inside him…it gave him a sign…

Kenshin gripped the railing, squeezed his eyes shut, and bit down on his bottom lip so hard he was starting to taste the ironic flavor of blood in his mouth…

No…he wasn't going to give up now…

He had to try one more time…one last time…

He pushed himself back on the solid ground, shuddering slightly.

He took one last look at the water, then turned and walked away.

_I guess I need you, baby…_

**A/N: Ok, so I cheated a bit and used Britney's "Every time", but you gotta admit it was a nice touch; I put a lot of effort to make it look as good as possible.**

**Anyway, any comments on this chapter? If so, plz review. Oh, and u have all been asking me about that woman who phoned…well, I'm afraid u'll have to wait till later chapters, I've already got it all planned out…**

_**-ZEN.**_


	6. Blood

**D/C: I don't own RK...or Aspirin or Panadol…if I did I'd lend Kaoru some…I'm not a miser!!**

**Hey! It's me again! I'm glad u liked my last chapter, and…um…about the song part, I know it seemed a bit odd that Kenshin should sing it, I imagined how it would be and it was weird alright…but I couldn't find any other song that would fit!**

**Anyway, that's history now, and here's my sixth chapter.**

**Happy reading, folks!**

**Chapter 6: Blood**

Kaoru pulled the blankets up to her face in attempt of blocking the bright sunlight out of her eyes.

Her head was throbbing painfully, and her stomach was churning horribly, and she felt like she was going to be sick.

_Results of too much Sake._ She was hung-over now.

She finally pushed the blankets away, and scrambled out of bed. She pulled on her robes, slipped her feet into the slippers Megumi had lent her, and she wadded out of the room.

That's when she noticed that the house was unusually quiet.

Frowning slightly, and clutching her head, she made her way to the kitchen. A bright yellow sticky note on the fridge's door caught her attention.

'**Gone to pick Aoshi from the airport, u were dead asleep and I didn' wanna wake u up. Won't be long gone. Misao.'** was written in Misao's scrawl handwriting.

Kaoru sighed. She might as well freshen up before those lot returned.

She went into the bathroom, splashed some water onto her face and hastily brushed her teeth.

Dabbing a tissue against her wet complexion, she returned to the kitchen to fetch for some aspirin, in hopes of relieving herself from the terrible headache she was suffering from.

She gave up after going through the whole kitchen cabinets without finding anything…not even Panadol.

Sighing in exasperation, she slumped down on a stool, folding her arms before her on the table.

She started recalling the conversation she had had with her friends the other night, before retiring to bed.

'_I won't bother you any longer…_'_ she had said. _

'_No, you're not bothering us_'_ Megumi had insisted. _'_I love having you around_'

_Kaoru smiled weakly._ _'That's really sweet of you, but I can't possibly force myself on you like this_'_ she said. _'_I'll move out first chance I get_'

'_And go where?_'_ Megumi demanded._

'_Hey, maybe you could stay at my place! My house's much bigger_'_ Misao exclaimed._

_Kaoru shook her head. _'_No, I want to find my own place…I'll start looking for an apartment with good rental prices first thing in the morning_'_ she replied._

'_And stay alone?_'_ Sano said. He shook his head. _'_Na-ah, over my dead body_'

'_Good, this'll give me reason enough to kill you_'_ she cracked. Sano didn't smile. _'_Really, guys…I mean, I want to move on, okay? Staying with you will only remind me of why I'm here in the first place_'

'_Oh, and living alone wouldn't?_'_ Megumi remarked. _

_Kaoru was snagged. Megumi did have a point there._

'_Let me tell you the difference between staying with us and staying alone, Kaoru_'_ Megumi said. _'_By staying with us, you'll always be kept busy, you won't have time to think of Kenshin, and it means you'll have friends to support you if you ever did…but staying alone means your thoughts will be in your face 24/7, okay? Nothing to distract you, na na, zilch, zero… get it? It'll be just you and your thoughts of Kenshin…you won't be escaping, Kaoru, you'll be locking yourself up…and I can't bear to see you all messed up like that_'

'_I'm not messed up_' _Kaoru fumed._

'_Could've fooled me_'_ Megumi replied. _'_You're always crying over Kenshin…don't tell me that isn't messed up_'

_That's when Kaoru finally stood up, said, _'_I'm feeling tired…I think I'll go to bed…goodnight_'

When Kaoru thought about it again and again, she felt a slight pang of guilt…all her friends were trying to do is help her, and all she does is push them away…that wasn't her definition of being a good friends.

She messaged her temple, and when it didn't seem to make her headache go any better, she decided to go to the Chemist to get some aspirin. Good thing there was one across the street from them.

She quickly pulled on a pair of jeans, a sweater and a long jacket, pulled her hair into a quick note, slipped her cell phone into her jeans' pocket, and left the apartment.

She took the lift down to the lobby, and uttered a low gasp when she saw who was standing there.

Kenshin.

He looked up when he saw her stepping out of the elevator, and he smiled at her.

'Kaoru' he said happily.

Kaoru steeled herself. Looking straight ahead, she walked right past him without giving him a second glance.

'No, Kaoru, wait, please…give me another chance' he pleaded.

Trying hard to ignore him, she stepped outside the building.

She paused a little on the pavement, looking left and right before starting to cross the road.

Kenshin was right behind her.

'Kaoru, please, listen to me' he said.

Kaoru crossed the road, with Kenshin right on her track.

Even as she walked into the Chemist's, he followed her inside.

'Hi' she said to the Chemist.

'Good afternoon, how may I help you?' the man asked.

'Kaoru, please…' Kenshin murmured in her ear.

Kaoru gritted her teeth, and smiled sweetly at the man. 'Um…I have a headache…y'know, from drinking too much' she murmured.

'Kaoru…' Kenshin pleaded again.

The Chemist frowned at Kenshin, but Kaoru kept acting as if he weren't even there.

'Okay…would you take aspirin?' he said.

'I'll take anything which will relieve me from this headache' Kaoru replied.

'Alright, wait here, I'll get you one' he told her, still staring at Kenshin.

'Kaoru…just let me explain' Kenshin whispered, moving in so close to her she had no space to move. 'Please'

Kaoru shrugged him away uncomfortably. She really didn't want to create a scene now…here.

The chemist handed her the packet of aspirin. 'Take one pill every six hours, and if the pain doesn't go away, come back so I could give you another medicine' he told her.

'Thanks' she replied. 'How much does it cost?'

'Seven bucks' he told her, before leaning closer to her. 'Er…miss, is that man bothering you? I'll send him away if you want'

Kaoru smiled and stuffed the cash into his hand. 'Thanks…I'll handle him on my own' she assured him.

She stuffed the aspirin in her purse, grabbed Kenshin's hand and pulled him outside.

'What were you thinking?!' she snarled.

'I was trying to win you back, that's what' he replied.

'Oh, so now I'm some kind of trophy?!' she snapped. 'You really embarrassed me in there, Kenshin!'

'Well, I figured you weren't going to push me away in front of people' he said simply.

'You know, Kenshin, you're not making the situation any better' she pointed out.

'Okay, you tell me how I can make it better' he told her.

'It's not going to become better, okay? You and I are over, Kenshin, why don't you just get it?'

'Because we are not over, Kaoru' Kenshin told her. 'We love each other, remember?'

Kaoru opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. 'Liar' she hissed. 'You're only saying that to trick me'

'Kaoru…well, can't I at least know why you're so mad at me?' he demanded.

'Don't act all bright-eyed and innocent in front of me, Kenshin…you perfectly know what you've done' she snapped.

'But, Kaoru, I swear I don't! I don't know why this is happening! And besides, I'd die a thousand deaths before even thinking of hurting you' he cried, collecting a few stares from passer-bys. His eyes watered, and he leaned closer to her. 'I really need you, Kaoru' he choked.

Kaoru stood, transfixed, as Kenshin cupped her face between his hands and pressed his lips against hers in a soft, gentle kiss. It sent a tingling sensation which seemed to warm her to the tips of her fingers, and lifted her headache for a brief moment.

When Kenshin finally withdrew, Kaoru only stared at him, as if he had never kissed her before in his life.

Yes, he was her husband, yes, he had kissed her a million times before in more passionate _situations_, but yet, this kiss, it was…

Kenshin smiled hopefully at her. She knew he would love to hear her saying that she'll willingly come back and throw all this behind her back, but no…she wouldn't give him the privilege, not after he had hurt her so much.

She pushed him away from her. 'What do you think you're doing?!' she screamed.

'I…' he said, looking baffled, the smile vanishing from his face.

'I don't want to see you ever again, Kenshin! Just get out of my life!' she cried, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

'Kaoru…' he whispered.

Kaoru burst into tears and rushed away from him, running onto the road.

She ran without looking sideways, ran without noticing the quickly approaching speeding car…

'KAORU!!!' Kenshin yelled.

Kaoru paused, looked around and saw the car. She screamed as she noticed the car.

But before the painful impact came, Kaoru felt herself being pushed out of the way. She was thrown back to the safety of the concrete pavement.

She heard the screech of tyres against the road, the horrible sound of something…or someone… being hit, and then…silence.

Dreading what she was going to see, Kaoru slowly lifted herself up from the pavement, and turned around.

Her eyes traced the pool of blood beginning to form, to the arm which lay on the road, followed the arm up to the face of its owner…the bloodied face of Kenshin.

Kaoru gasped in horror, nearly choking on her emotions.

'Kenshin…no' she choked. 'NO!!'

**A/N: (No! Ouch! Stop chucking stuff at me! Double ouch! Hey! Who just threw that shoe?!) Yeah, I know u all want to kill me after this, but let me remind u of something; u won't know what'll happen next in the story if u do kill me! He he! Anyway, there are some things…ok, it's a one thing…revealed in the next chapter, be sure not to miss it! Until then, a review would be nice…unless, of course, it has curses or something…**

_**-ZEN.**_


	7. Truth

**D/C: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin...do I have to repeat it every single time?! It's just that when I keep repeating it, it all sounds so real!!**

**Sorry, I didn't update last week, but, well…I had my reasons. Anyway, here I am back with my seventh chapter, and I'm still recovering from the shoe a reviewer threw at me (ST! I'm not giving it back to u!). Anyway, I'll stop rambling now and let u read.**

**Enjoy!!**

**Chapter 7: Truth**

The scene replayed itself again and again in Kaoru's mind.

Her crossing the road, the speeding car approaching, Kenshin screaming her name, Kenshin pushing her out of the way…and getting hit instead.

Kaoru stared in horror at Kenshin's still form which was lying in the middle of the road.

She scrambled to her feet, and rushed towards him. She dropped to her knees beside him.

She shook him by the shoulders. 'Kenshin…Kenshin, please wake up…please' she choked, tears streaming down her face.

But Kenshin didn't do so much as twitch.

'Kenshin! Kenshin, I beg you to wake up!' she cried. 'Kenshin, please!! Don't die! Please don't die!'

People were starting to gather around. They all looked upon her and Kenshin with looks of pure sympathy and pity.

'Is he alive?'

Kaoru looked up to see a man-probably the car driver-kneeling beside her.

Kaoru suddenly wanted to scream at him for hitting Kenshin, but she knew it wasn't the man's fault…it was her fault; she had walked out onto the road without checking for approaching cars.

It was her fault…her entire fault…

The car had only hit Kenshin because he was trying to save her life.

She'd never forgive herself if he…if he…

'Is he still alive?' the man asked again.

Kaoru, somewhat afraid, leaned her head against Kenshin's chest, trying hard to catch a pulse.

It seemed as if someone had switched on the MUTE button. All she could hear was the sound of her own breathing, and nothing of the world around.

Kaoru held her breath too, and wished her heart would stop beating so loudly against her chest.

She swallowed hard.

_Please…let there be a pulse…let him be alive…_

And then…she heard it…it was faint…but it still was a pulse.

She almost screamed for joy.

'Miss?' The man tapped her shoulder, looking anxious.

The MUTE was turned off.

She lifted up her head. 'He's…he's alive' she said hoarsely. 'Just barely though'

'Good, good' he whispered, looking relieved. 'I called an ambulance…they're bound to be here soon'

Kaoru didn't say anything.

'I'm really sorry, but you just came up in front of me so suddenly, I couldn't stop in time' he croaked.

Kaoru looked away from him.

'Um…maybe you should do something to stop the bleeding' the man suggested.

Kaoru, realizing he was right, quickly pulled off her jacket, felt around Kenshin's abdomen till her hand felt a spot were the blood gushed fluently.

She quickly pressed her coat against it and uttered a silent prayer for the bleeding to stop.

Her eyes traveled over his passive face and her eyes leaked with tears. She pulled his head into her lap, and bent over him, sobbing, with her coat still pressed against the wound.

'Kenshin…Kenshin…' she sobbed.

If he woke up now she'd forgive him for everything he had done to her…

…she had already forgiven him…she'll even apologize…

But, then…Kenshin might not wake up again…he might stay asleep…forever…

Suddenly, she heard the sound of the ambulance approaching.

'They're here!' the car driver said, sounding relieved.

Kaoru looked up. She wrapped her arms around Kenshin, not wanting to let go…

The ambulance pulled up a few feet away from her.

Medical officials jumped out of the back, pulling a stretcher between them.

They rushed up to Kaoru and Kenshin.

'We'll take it over from here, miss' one medical official told her.

Kaoru held on to Kenshin tightly. 'No!' she cried.

She felt stupid just saying it, but how could she trust her Kenshin with these men? Didn't people always die under the bad care of medics? And who knows? Maybe if she lets him go…he'll never come back…

'No!' she cried again.

'Please, miss, I understand your concern, but we have to give him proper care or he might die…' another medic told her. 'You have to let us take care of him'

'Don't take him away…no…' Kaoru choked.

'I'm afraid we have to' the medic said gravely.

Two medics grabbed Kaoru by her arms, and started dragging her away.

'NO!!' she screamed. 'Let go of me!'

Two other men lifted Kenshin from the floor, and laid him on the stretcher. They started carrying him to the ambulance.

Kaoru wrenched free out of their grasp, too late; Kenshin had already been hauled into the ambulance.

'Please, I want to help! Can't I at least come with you?' she cried.

'Listen, miss…if you really want to help your boyfriend…or husband, or whatever he is, go to his house and get some of his stuff' the medic told her.

'Stuff?' she repeated blankly.

'You know, clothes' he explained. 'Then you can follow us to Central Hospital…besides, even if I let you come along, there won't be enough space for you'

Kaoru nodded. 'Take care of him' she whispered.

The medic smiled at her, before pulling the doors of the ambulance shut.

Kaoru watched silently as the ambulance drove away, leaving her standing in the middle of the road holding the coat which was soaked in Kenshin's blood.

**Later…**

Kaoru rummaged around the room, pulling Kenshin's clothes out of closets and drawers and stuffing them into a bag.

She wasn't quite focused; she was constantly being distracted by the thought of Kenshin lying alone and bloodied on a bed in the hospital where he could be dead, alive…or something in between…

After a few moments, she peered into the bag, to see if there was a sufficient amount of clothes in there. She seemed to think it was okay, because she pulled up the bag's zipper, and hoisted it over her shoulder.

She stepped out of the bedroom and headed to the door.

The phone rang.

Kaoru paused a little. Should she answer it?

But then she dismissed the idea from her mind; this was no time for chatting on the phone.

She continued to walk towards the door, but then the answering machine crackled on.

'_He-llo!_'

Kaoru froze. It was that girl, that same girl who had called three days ago. Kenshin's friend.

'_Remember me, sweetie? Oh, how silly of me, of course you do, and how wouldn't you after those cozy sessions we had yesterday?_' the girl said, and laughed.

Kaoru felt her whole body convulse. Kenshin…and that girl…having _cozy sessions?!_

'_I can't seem to get over the feel of your kisses…they're just too…huh?!_' the girl stopped, seeming startled.

_Huh? _What did _that _mean?

'_Oh my gosh! This is the wrong number! This isn't Shimoro's number!_' the girl gasped. '_I'm really, really sorry, whoever this number belongs to!_'

There was a sound of a telephone being put back in its place, a beep, and the message ended.

Kaoru stood staring at the machine, feeling unable to move.

The bag slipped from her shoulder and fell to the floor, but she didn't seem to notice.

_Shimoro, not Kenshin…not Kenshin…_

Kaoru felt the wind being knocked out of her as she realized her mistake.

_It wasn't Kenshin, he wasn't the guy who had cheated on me…Kenshin is innocent, and I…I…what have I done?!_

Her eyes welled with tears, and she sank to the floor. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

_Oh, Kenshin…what have I done?_

_What have I done?!_

**A/N: Ooooh, Kaoru must be feeling terribly guilty now, huh? Those who expected that coming plz raise ur hands ! But aren't u happy I didn't kill Kenshin off? Well, anyway, any comments? Plz review, then.**

**Oh, and Aldailyn, sure i'll read it, just send it to my email.**

_**-ZEN.**_


	8. Guilt

**D/C: I don't own RK.**

**Hi! i'm back...and recovered from the shoes which were thrown at me (ok, it's official, if anybody throws one more shoe at me, he can kiss it good bye!). I wasn't planning on updating today, but here i am, doing it anyway. **

**Ok, folks, enjoy!**

**Chapter 8: Guilt**

Kaoru pushed through the double doors of the emergency unit. She made her way to the receptionist's desk, staring down at the floor so no one would notice her bloodshot eyes.

'Yes? How may I help you?' the receptionist inquired.

'Um…I want to see a man with the name Kenshin Himura, he was hit by a car an hour ago' Kaoru told her.

'Ah, yes' the receptionist said. 'He's in the ICU now, I'm afraid you won't be allowed to see him'

_ICU! _'But he's my husband; I really need to see him!' Kaoru insisted.

The receptionist sighed. 'I'm really sorry, miss, but I can't let you see him' she said apologetically.

Kaoru bit her lip, and looked around frantically. Then, she noticed an arrow with the words ICU SECTION printed along its length.

She ran away from the desk towards the corridor in which the arrow pointed.

'Miss, come back here!' the receptionist cried after her.

But Kaoru ignored her. She ran down the narrow corridor, passing doors and units till she reached the very end where the ICU unit stood.

Kaoru took a deep breath, and started to push the door open.  
'Hey, miss!'

Kaoru turned around, startled. She saw the medic who had told her to go home at the scene of the accident hurrying towards her.

'Where is he! You have to let me see him!' she demanded, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

'He's in there' he told her, glancing at the ICU unit.

'How is he?' she asked anxiously.

The medic shook his head. 'Not very good' he told her. 'He got serious head injury'

Kaoru's hand flew to her mouth. 'He's going to be okay…isn't he?' she whispered.

'I can't tell you that' he told her. 'Not only was his head injured, but he lost a quite fair amount of blood too'

Kaoru felt herself on the verge of tears for the third time this day.

'He's not going to…die?' she choked.

'We did everything we could to help him, but right now he's in a coma…we can't do anything for him now' he told her. 'We'll just have to wait and see'

Kaoru glanced back at the door. 'Can I see him?' she pleaded.

'Yes, yes, of course' he agreed.

He opened the door for her and she stepped inside.

'Um…I got you the stuff' she suddenly said, holding out the bag.

'Yes, let me take that from you' he offered, and took the bag.

He, then, led her to the furthest end of the room.

And there, she saw him.

Lying on his bed, Kenshin was heavily covered in bandages, and connected to the Artificial Life Supporting System; an oxygen mask was covering his mouth, a glucose sachet was held over him, injecting the liquid in through his wrist, and a heart monitoring screen showing his life line…and looking deathly pale.

Kaoru automatically felt the tears wetting the sides of her face.

The medic glanced uncomfortably at her. 'I'll leave you alone with him, alright?' he said, drawing up a chair for her. 'Don't touch anything, though'

Kaoru nodded, and he left.

She sat down beside him, and tears welled in her eyes as she looked upon his face.

She took his left hand in both of hers, and held it tightly.

'Kenshin' she choked, as the tears began to pour down her cheeks. 'Kenshin…I know you're not going to hear me…but I'm sorry…I really am…I'm sorry for being the most horrible wife to ever exist… I dunno what to say…I mean, I made an unforgivable mistake, I thought you had cheated on me when my trust in you shouldn't have wavered at all'

She lifted up his hand and pressed it against her cheek.

'I'm really sorry' she whispered. 'I wish I could take all this back, but unfortunately, no one invented a time machine yet…so I can't possibly do that…'

It hurt her to see Kenshin like that, but it hurt her more that he didn't seem to hear her, to notice that she was there…as if he was already far away from this world.

Stricken by that sudden thought, she glanced at the monitoring screen, and breathed a sigh of relief; there was a pulse, he was still alive…

'Oh, Kenshin!' she choked, sobbing against his bed blankets, her hands still gripping his.

It might have been seconds, it might have been minutes, hours…Kaoru didn't know; all she knew that she had never cried like this before, because she didn't have to; she had never come across such situations, and she was having a hard time handling it.

Suddenly, she felt something vibrating at her side. Kaoru started, looked down and remembered the cell phone in her pocket.

She pulled it out and glanced at the screen; it was Megumi.

Kaoru chewed her bottom lip; Megumi was probably worried sick about her. She glanced back at Kenshin…but she didn't want to leave his side.

Nevertheless, she owed Megumi an explanation.

Almost reluctantly, she let go of Kenshin's hand, rose from her chair, and went outside. She hit the TALK button.

'Hello, Megumi' she said, wearily.

'Kaoru! Oh, thank God! I was panic-stricken when I got home and didn't find you!' Megumi's voice came on the other end. 'Where are you!'

'Don't worry, I'm fine' Kaoru assured her.

'Yes, I know…but _where _are you?' Megumi demanded.

Kaoru hesitated; should she tell her? She could, but that would mean she'll have to tell her about the terrible mistake she had done, and Megumi would start scolding her…and Kaoru didn't need that right now. She had enough problems right now.

'I'm…at a friend's' she lied.

'Oh? And who is that _friend?_' Megumi asked.

'You don't know her' Kaoru muttered.

'Are you going to be back by lunch?' Megumi asked.

'Um…no, I'm having lunch here' Kaoru said. 'Sorry'

'No, it's alright…next time, though, tell me before you go anywhere' Megumi replied. 'Have fun, okay?'

Kaoru gulped. 'Okay' she said. 'Bye'

She ended the phone call, and turned the phone off completely.

She stuffed it into her pocket and went back into the ICU. She walked towards Kenshin's bed.

Her brow furrowed a shrill beeping reached her ears. Becoming frantic, she hurried to the bed.

She looked up all the devices connected to Kenshin. Everything seemed normal, except…

Except…

'DOCTOR!' Kaoru screamed, rushing out of the ICU. 'Help, please! His pulse is dead! Somebody do something!'

Several doctors grouped around her. 'What? What's wrong!' one of them asked.

Kaoru broke into tears. 'Please…my husband, his life line is dead! That pulse on the screen…it's all dead! Please, help him!' she cried.

The doctors' expressions turned serious.

'Hiroki, take this lady away to the waiting room…' the doctor who spoke first said.

'NO! Please! I wanna stay with him!' Kaoru cried, as another doctor grabbed her arm.

'Yogi, get the surgical equipment ready…' the doctor said, ignoring her. 'Jomai, Henya…come with me'

The three doctors pushed through the double doors of the ICU, pulling on surgical gloves and garments.

'Kenshin!' Kaoru screamed, trying to wriggle free out of the doctor's grasp.

'Miss, please…' the doctor said, exasperatedly.

'NO!' Kaoru screamed. She broke free of his grip and rushed back inside…to Kenshin…

'Give me a twenty'

Kaoru stopped dead as one doctor pressed the electric chargers to Kenshin's bare chest.

Kenshin's body jerked up from the bed a little, and fell back onto the soft mattresses.

Kaoru stared in horror. _All this is happening because of me…me…_

The doctors checked the monitor, shook their heads.

'Give me a charge of 30 Volts…come on, we're losing him!' the doctor holding the chargers said urgently.

_We're losing him…they're losing Kenshin…_

The doctor pressed the chargers to Kenshin's chest again. He jerked up more this time, and Kaoru felt as if she was jerking herself, choking…suffocating…on her own emotions.

'40 Volts' the doctor said.

Kaoru felt arms on her shoulders, pulling her away, dragging her away from Kenshin…

'No! Kenshin!' she screamed.

'Please, miss, you're disturbing the doctors!' the medic said frantically.

Kaoru wanted to stay, but her energy was fading away with each scream, with each struggle…

Her eyes slowly drooped, and her limbs started to go limp…

'Please…save…him…' she whispered, before passing out completely.

**A/ N: So, how did u like it? personally, i favor the last part...i was imagining the whole thing as i wrote it and i got goosebumps all over my skin. Anyway, if u wanna know what happens next, then wait for the next chappie...oh, and plz review!**

_-**ZEN**_


	9. Chances

**D/C: I don't own RK.**

**Wow! Thank u for the reviews! I was really glad u liked the chapter. Um, I just want to clear some confusion (if u have it…if u don't, just read anyway) this story takes place in four days only, not more than that as some of u might think. And MoonKitti, I know cell phones aren't allowed, but tell me this, if u happen to be in Kaoru's place, will you even _remember _that u have a cell phone in ur pocket?**

**Anyway, I won't keep u in suspense any longer…read on to see what happens.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9: Chances**

'_Kaoru…_'

_Kaoru spun around. _'_Kenshin, is that you?_'_ she cried. _'_Where are you!_'

_Her surroundings were totally dark, she couldn't even see her own hands, let alone see Kenshin._

'_Kenshin!_' _she cried._

_And then she saw him…_

_Despite the darkness of the place, Kenshin was outlined with an eerie glow, making him brighter than everything else._

'_Kenshin…_' _she whispered happily, feeling his warm glow upon her._

_But Kenshin looked anything but happy. Even as she looked into his face, she couldn't quite fathom the look he was giving her._

'_Kenshin?_' _she said softly. _'_What's wrong?_'

_Kenshin didn't say anything. He just smiled sadly at her, and began drifting away._

'_NO! Kenshin, come back! Please don't leave me alone in this dark place!_'_ she cried, going after him._

_Oh, but haven't you left him in a murky, dark place before when you left him and didn't give him a second glance, _a voice in her head nagged her. _Why should he wait for you after what you've done?_

'_No! Kenshin! Please, come back! Take me with you!_' _Kaoru cried, feeling the tears fall openly from her eyes. _

_But Kenshin kept drifting away, smiling sadly and watching her with sorrowful eyes…_

'Miss…'

'Ken-shin…' The tears felt really wet on her face.

'Miss, please wake up'

'Ken…Kenshin…huh?'

Kaoru blinked her eyes open.

A medic was standing over her, holding a glass of water…apparently, he was splashing water on her face-this was the wet tears she had been feeling…

'What…what happened? Where am I?' she croaked, rising from the couch on which she was curled up. She pushed the blankets which were covering her away, and looked around apprehensively. 'What am I doing here?'

'You're in the hospital, remember?' the medic told her. 'And you fainted…don't you recall that?'

Kaoru massaged her temples. 'The hospital…right' she murmured, groggily. She suddenly gripped the medic by the neck of his shirt. 'Oh my God! Kenshin! Kenshin, how is he?'

She remembered the charges the doctors were giving him, she remembered the way he was jerking up from the bed, she remembered the doctors dragging her out of ICU, and…she remembered why…Kenshin's dead life line…

'How is he!' she demanded. 'Is he…is he…?'

She just couldn't bring herself to say it.

_Is he dead?_

The medic smiled and eased her hands away from his shirt. 'No, he's not dead' he told her.

'He's…not?' she whispered, and her heart flooded with relief and joy. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound would come out; she was totally overjoyed. Tears of happiness shimmered within her eyes.

The medic laughed. 'Do you want to see him?' he asked gently.

Kaoru nodded vigorously, pulling her self up from the couch.

The medic led her out of the waiting room, and down the corridor to the ICU section.

Kaoru found herself constantly looking at the medic, opening her mouth, and shutting it again. The medic, apparently, noticed that.

'How?' he asked, helpfully.

Kaoru nodded; glad he was able to understand her.

'Well, it wasn't easy, the doctors had to use surgery…they found out he was suffering from internal bleeding in the area of the chest…' he told her, and Kaoru couldn't help but utter a soft gasp. 'But don't you worry, he's alright now, the doctors have fixed him up for good'

_Poor Kenshin…_

'He's asleep now, still under the effects of drugs' he continued. She nodded. 'It won't be long before he wakes up though'

'Alright, we're here' he said, pushing the door of the ICU open. 'Make sure you don't touch his bandages, his stitches are still fresh…you know your way'

Kaoru nodded again, swallowed hard and stepped into the ICU.

As fast as her feet could carry her, she made her way to Kenshin's bed.

The sight of him nearly made her burst with tears, but she fought them back, and, almost uncomfortably, she sat down on the chair next to his bed.

She looked upon him; his body was now more bandaged than ever, and he was looking paler than before.

_None of this would've happened if I hadn't been so stupid…it was my fault…_even though she had said it dozens of times now, but saying it made her feel like she was punishing herself, and she knew she deserved it.

Kaoru suddenly felt the hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

'Kenshin…oh, Kenshin' she choked, burying her face in the bed sheets. 'I'm really sorry'

But she felt like none of her apologies would ever make up to her mistake.

Suddenly, she felt a hand smoothing back her hair.

Startled, she jerked her head up.

Kenshin smiled weakly at her, his hand falling back onto the sheets.

'Kenshin!' she cried, throwing her hands around his neck. But she heard him wince, and she remembered what the medic had said about the stitches. She quickly drew away. 'Sorry' she murmured.

'It's alright' Kenshin croaked.

Kaoru shook her head, the tears leaking out a lot more than before.

'Now, now, there's no need to cry…I'm okay, nothing happened' he whispered.

_Nothing happened! Nothing but the fact that you almost died and I almost lost you happened!_

He reached out and started to wipe the tears away. Kaoru clutched his hand with both of hers, and held it there…against her cheek.

'Kaoru?' he murmured.

'Oh, Kenshin! I'm really sorry!' she choked. 'I had been so stupid! I'm so ashamed!'

'Kaoru…' Kenshin started.

'No! You don't have to say anything! It's me who should be seeking forgiveness!' she sobbed, letting go of his hands. 'You didn't do anything! It was my entire fault!'

'No, Kaoru…' Kenshin whispered.

'Yes, Kenshin!' she replied. 'Don't you wanna know what happened? Don't you want to know the stupid mistake I've done, the misunderstandment which had nearly finished us both off, and nearly killed you!'

'I…' he said.

'Alright, I'll tell you!' she sobbed. 'I…'

But she was surprised when Kenshin held up a finger to her lips. 'Sssh' he whispered, shaking his head.

Kaoru stared at him. 'But, Kenshin…' she started to protest.

'No, Kaoru…at least not now' he told her.

'But, Kenshin! You've got every right to know after what I've done to you!' she told him. 'It wouldn't be fair to you!'

'But I don't want to know, Kaoru' he replied.

'But…' Kaoru said, yet again.

'Kaoru' he said.

'Kensh…' she started.

'No' he told her.

'I…' she sputtered.

'Ssssh' he whispered again, this time covering her mouth with his hand.

Kaoru nodded, and he pulled his hand away. He smiled again, and she smiled back.

He patted a spot beside him on the bed. 'Come here' he told her.

'Oh, no, Kenshin…the doctor said not to touch you, your stitches…' she said quickly.

'I'll risk it' he said impatiently.

Kaoru couldn't help but smile at him. _God, he's such a sweetie, how did I ever think he was cheating on me?_

Reluctantly, she curled up on the bed beside him. Kenshin couldn't quite make room for her, since it was too painful for him to move, so she sat with most of her body sticking out, but she didn't care, at least she was beside him.

Kenshin leaned his head against her, and she put her arms gently around him.

'I feel so tired' he murmured.

'After what you went through, who wouldn't?' she said softly.

'Where you hurt when I pushed you off the road?' he asked, concerned.

'No…thanks to you' she whispered. She bent down and kissed his forehead. Then she started smoothing his hair. '…_so I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams take me there…_' she sang softly.

Kenshin sighed contentedly and she smiled, and launched on with her song.

'_Where the skies are blue to see you once again, my love…_' she went on.

She could feel Kenshin's body relaxing under her arms.

'_Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most…_' she murmured, as she smoothed his hair. '_Where the fields are green to see you once again…my love_' she finished.

She bent down to check on him, and smiled when she saw him sleeping.

'Sweet dreams, Kenshin' she whispered.

**A/N: YAY! Kenshin lives! I bet u r all whooping and cheering for joy now, huh! But really, wasn't that sweet? I'm sorry I cheated again and used the song "My Love", but I tried to come up with my own lyrics and I just couldn't! I simply suck at that department! Anyway, this isn't the end yet, I've still got one more chapter and then I'll rid your hands from me for good! Now I bet you're wondering about what else I can do to those two…well, keep wondering until next Friday, maybe you'll get the answer…**

_**-ZEN.**_


	10. Epilogue: Candles and Diamonds

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…Darn it!**

**Hi! It's me again! I'm sorry I didn't update last week, but I was…what would be the right term? Maybe grounded would suffice…Anyway, wasn't that last chapter sweet? Yes? I thought so too. But prepare for something even sweeter, something which will make you go "Awwww!" ! Anyway, read on to see what I mean, and I'll catch up with u at the end of the chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

**Epilogue: Candles and Diamonds**

The flames of the tall scented candles which where resting in a three-fork candle-stick flickered in the dimly lit room, and spread their beautiful lavender smell around the room.

Kaoru paced the living room nervously, constantly checking to see if anything was missing.

She checked the table again.

Candles; check. Roses; check. Plates and silverware; check. Handkerchiefs; check.

She nervously adjusted the roses in their vase, and perfected the fold of the table cloth.

Her brain went across the events of the last couple of months as she worked.

Kenshin had stayed in the ICU for nearly five weeks until the doctors were satisfied. And during those five weeks she had never left his side. She had even slept in the hospital, and only returned home for an hour or two each day.

Her friends had visited too, and they had all been very uncomfortable around Kenshin, especially Sanosuke; the poor guy hadn't been able to look Kenshin in the eye at all until Kenshin told him it was okay.

And then of course Kenshin had asked her for answers, she knew she would have to tell him sooner or later, but she still dreaded it.

Yet, Kenshin's reaction to the whole thing amazed her; he wasn't the little bit upset. He told her he understood how she must've felt, and she had every right to do what she had done, but only wished that she'd have more faith and trust in him in the coming days. That set her on tears again, and Kenshin was granted the job of soothing her and comforting her.

Even after he was released, the doctors had forbidden him from going to work; he had to rest. Working so soon would exhaust him a lot.

And now, after three weeks from returning home, Kenshin had finally resumed his work.

She missed having him around the house the whole day, even though she had ended up wearing herself out to make him feel comfortable.

But she had seized the opportunity to whip up a fabulous romantic dinner for him-she didn't cook though, she didn't want to send Kenshin back to the ICU in an ambulance, so she had ordered Italian Cuisine.

Yes, he had forgiven her, but she didn't feel that her apologies were enough; she had to do something special for him.

She checked herself in the floor-length mirror again.

She was wearing a sleeveless, long, silk black dress, which was tight around the chest while the rest swirled loosely around her body and pooled around her feet.

Her hair hung loose and was pulled back slightly by an elegant silver comb. She had also attached her favorite tear-drop diamond earrings to her ears.

Her make-up consisted of a thin layer of pink lipstick, and a little blusher dabbed on the cheeks-Kenshin always said how much he preferred her without make-up, and there was no need to do the opposite.

The sound of the keys opening the lock made her jump. She quickly sprayed perfume around her wrists and against her neck, and then went to meet Kenshin at the door.

He was just shutting the door when she stepped into the hallway.

'Hi' she whispered.

Kenshin quickly put his hands behind his back, as if hiding something. 'Hi!' he said. 'Hey, is that a new dress?'

'Yeah' she replied, performing a quick spin in front of him. 'How does it look?'

'It's gorgeous, and it's you who's making it look so' he told her, smiling.

Kaoru blushed slightly. 'Thanks' she said softly. 'Now come on in'

Kenshin followed her inside. He was about to ask her about the reason behind her dressing-up, when his gaze fell on the table set for two in the center of the living room.

'Kaoru…' he started.

'Surprise!' she chirped, and she hugged him. 'Like it?'

'But…why?' he sputtered, as she let go.

'For you being the best husband a woman could ever have' she told him, smiling affectionately.

'Oh, Kaoru…' he whispered, and started to hug her too, but paused, and grinned. 'Oh, by the way, I've got a surprise for you too'

She frowned. 'Really? What is it?' she asked.

'This' he said, pulling out a thin box from behind his back. Kaoru watched curiously as he opened it for her. 'For you'

Kaoru gasped as the box opened to reveal a beautiful diamond necklace lying on the folds of the white satin.

'Kenshin, this…this…' she whispered.

'Do you like it? I spent hours trying to figure out which one to buy' he told her, smiling happily.

Kaoru's eyes leaked with tears and she bit her bottom lip. 'Oh, Kenshin, you're so stupid' she choked.

'Huh?' he said, confused.

'After all what I've done to you, you go and buy me a diamond necklace?' she said.

'I…d-did you want something else? I could get you a whole set of diamonds if you want' he said, totally missing the point.

'No!' she said, the tears starting to wet her cheeks. 'I…I just don't deserve this from you…I've hurt you and instead of hating me you go and get me a diamond necklace!'

'Oh, Kaoru, please don't cry' he pleaded, pulling her into his arms. 'And you deserve it, you really do…you even deserve more than this'

'No, I don't' she sobbed into his shoulder.

'Yes, you do' he replied. 'And I should know so, because I love you, Kaoru'

She looked up at him. 'I love you too, Kenshin' she whispered.

'Good, now let's see you wipe away those tears and try on the necklace to see if I've got good taste' he said, grinning.

Kaoru laughed and dried her tears. She faced the mirror they had in the living room. She bent her head and lifted up her hair. Kenshin slowly pulled on the necklace around her neck.

When he was done, she looked up.

'Oh, my God, Kenshin! It's amazing!' she whispered.

He rested his chin against her bare shoulder and they both stared into the mirror.

'See? What did I tell you? Do I have a good taste or what?' he said, drawing his hands around her from the back.

'Mmm' she murmured, putting her hands over his. 'Kenshin?'

'Yes, Kaoru?' he whispered.

'I've got another surprise for you' she whispered back.

Slowly, gently, she pulled both his hands and placed them on her stomach.

Kenshin paused, and then comprehension dawned upon his face.

'You're…Oh, my God! Kaoru, you're pregnant!' he exclaimed.

Kaoru smiled a bit shyly and met his gaze in the mirror.

'Are you happy?' she asked timidly.

'Happy?' he repeated, moving his hands over her stomach. 'Kaoru, I'm soaring!'

He whirled her around so she would face him. He cupped her face between his hands.

'We're gonna have a baby! A baby! Can you imagine that!' he cried, his eyes twinkling with joy. 'Oh, that's incredible! _You're _incredible, Kaoru!'

Kaoru laughed with merriment.

And as he pulled her face forward to kiss her, Kaoru felt all her worries and grief being washed away.

After all, what more could a couple ask for?

**A/N: Awwww, wasn't that sweet! I really enjoyed writing this epilogue, even if it were a bit short…and I bet u r really relieved I didn't do something bad to them, huh? B-but SOB! this is my last chapter! Oh, I feel so miserable! I really liked writing this fic!**

**But…u haven't seen the last of me! I'm coming back next week with a new story! It's a K K romance and it's called "Falling for Battousai", be sure to read it!**

**Now I would like to thank all those who've read and reviewed my story:**

**Clueless Girl, Shimmering Tear, Grace 07, black slashed dragon, Kenshin, unicornfan, gaby(hyatt, samurai duck 27, deal-with-it, half-breed-demon-fox, reader-kikilala, Crimson Kaoru, Brittanie Love, The Wolf Angel Princess, Dark-Kaomi, Kaykoha Ayanithne, otaku-chan, Jupiter's Light, phi-dono, Christy, cc, Ruby 27, Sea Breeze-YamiAnzu, Mazaki Anzu, mymomo, Hawk-EVB, Raven612, TimeWraper, abubi-chan, Mini-Moonstar, Aldailyn, murpheysbaby, Estel-Elf-Lover, dancer akina, erica6060, prohibited, taijiyathelestone, kokari, Neko-Yuff16, Moonkitti, sapphire amber, RoseoftheDesert, pooja, katya, kenshinlover2002, ice queen, saskia2, soujiro seta's wife Sakura, heart-broken. **


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